Getting Cross

Okay, I'm going to have a rant now.

I've been browsing for info about Hoarding and related topics, and I am beginning to get angry about how many people just want to sell me their book or sign me up for their 12 step programme (for a fee).

I don't want to read a book. I already have too many f*cking books !

And I don't need God to fix me ! I don't need to confess my sins before I can get help, I'm not messy because I'm guilty of something !

I don't actually want to 'be helped', because I know this is going to have to come from inside me, or I will just let 'the help' clean me up and then start the behaviour all over again. Don't you dare try disenfranchising me by making me your project !

I'm actually messy because I have some issues as a result of past experiences. I may actually have an illness. Learning that has meant a lot to me. I thought before that I was just lazy and dirty and pitiful and sh*t at being the person other people felt I should be. Help me heal and deal with my issues, by all means, but don't you dare compound my problems by making me out to be helpless or by ripping me off !